We’re going to breeze through a quick recap of tonight’s game against the Mariners. There may be no better way to sum up just how awful just about everything went than this photo:

Here’s how it went: Phil Hughes got completely hit around. He couldn’t locate pitches, he couldn’t shut down the guys he needed to (scrub nobodies like Jack Wilson, Rob Johnson and Michael Saunders), he threw nothing but cutters and fastballs. Ultimately, we saw Hughes give up 7 runs (6 earned) on the evening. This had nothing to do with him having his start skipped last turn around. That’s absurd. The sample size of this causing his struggles is one game. More likely it’s that he had poor command of his pitches, left them in the zone and got tagged. That happens, even against a team of shit-hitters like the Mariners.

It’s not like Hughes was burning through batters lately. In his last four starts he’s 3-1, but his ERA in that span is 6.59. It’s better that his start was skipped for the simple reason that Hughes is on an innings limit and it’s far more advantageous to have Hughes contributing later in the season. You don’t want innings limits, pitch counts, conservative pragmatic approaches to managing a valuable, high-ceiling arm? Petition for Dusty Baker to coach the team and for Nolan Ryan to take over as GM.

The offense largely sputtered through the game, though Nick Swisher and Curtis Granderson contributed nicely, the former with 2 home runs and the latter with a few hard-hit balls against a lefty. The rest of the team went 4 for 30, though to their credit they hit a few balls very solidly, all unfortunately at Mariner defenders. There’s absolutely no shame in the team not putting a whole lot together against Cliff Lee. I mean, shit, he’s been one of the best pitchers in baseball for the last few years. He’s legit. I’m hoping he becomes a Yankee next season. A 1-2-3-4 of CC, Cliff Lee, Phil Hughes, AJ Burnett would be murder on any opponent. If there’s a silver lining it’s that Paul O’Neill Theory may be in effect. They put together a nice rally in the 9th before Chad Huffman haphazardly swung at the first pitch, weakly popping out.

Speaking of Chad Huffman, is it just me or does Chad Huffman make everything in left field look SUPER difficult? Most unnatural fielder I’ve seen since I spent hours in a dark room watching clips of Adam Dunn playing RF.

Crazy 8′s

Good news, M&A readers! I was able to find an advanced copy of Carlos Zambrano’s apology to his fellow teammates and fans for his outbursts last week. Here it is:

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault that this organization signed Derek Lee, Aramis Ramirez, Kosuke Fukodome, Alfonso Soriano and myself all to big-money, flexibility-killing deals. Did you know that combined, we have a WAR of 3.5 this year? Guess how much money we combine to make? Over $77 million for just the five of us. These deals were way above market rates and generally at least two years too long. Sorry about that one. Really. My bad. Oh, but hey, at least you have Carlos Silva at over $11 million for the next few years. Ace.

It’s also my fault that instead of having a dedicated owner who would do whatever it took to contend (like Mark Cuban), the fans are stuck with an owner who — out of pure coincidence, I’m sure — is friends with Bud Selig and just happened to submit a lower ownership bid. Again, it’s my fault fans are stuck with an inferior product but pay top dollar to see it – not the ownership or GM Jim Hendry, who, you know, had nothing to do with assembling this whole mess.

It’s also my fault that the players on this team hate each other so much that in spite of good talent, we under-perform so badly that we have priests blessing us before games, throwing salt over shoulders. Also my bad that players are pledging to kill other players’ wives if they choose Team Edward over Team Jacob. We also sacrifice goats and bathe Kosuke with the blood against his will. Saw that on a Japanese porno once. Ok, maybe that one is really just on me. Anyway, we probably won’t have any chance of doing anything noteworthy aside from being a Clippers-like sideshow for the next three or four years. Or maybe 100 years. That’s my fault, too. Again, Cubs fans, it’s all my fault this team has underperformed for years and there isn’t any light at the end of the tunnel. Getting on my teammates for not making any effort to catch balls because they’re indifferent little shits who don’t even feign a work ethic, was totally uncalled for. For that I sincerely apologize.

It’s not Lou Pinella’s fault that this team is lifeless and argue constantly; that GM Jim Hendry has compiled an impressive array of under-performing veterans with awful contracts, a dearth of impact young talent (and when there, are often inexplicably given sporadic playing time), and no financial flexibility; and also, ownership, who seem to have a vested interest in maintaining the 100-plus years of ineptitude as tradition here in Wrigley. So sorry for what I’ve put you through.”

Notes from around the league:

*Harold Reynolds actually believes that Puerto Rico is a country. He actually said it tonight. Seriously. The worst part of this is I actually thought: “Oh that Harold, sending cryptic messages to Jon Kruk.”

*Barry Larkin said that only guys with facial hair can be intimidating as a closers. I’m not making that up. Have you ever heard of Mariano Rivera?

*Edwin Rodriguez is now slated to be the Marlins manager for the rest of 2010.

Thoughts on the Marlins: I really don’t understand how they have any fan base whatsoever. What’s the business process there? This is what I assume is Loria’s 12-step business model.

Step 1: Find old white people, Cubans. Step 2: Get them really, really drunk. So drunk they have no idea where they are. Bus them to that awful “park” the Dolphins used to play in. Step 3: Blow out their ear drums with vuvuzelas. Step 4: Give them more alcohol. Step 5: Spend $20 million on baseball team. Step 6: Steal money from other baseball teams. Step 7: Use stolen money to buy more shitty Jackson Pollack paintings. Step 8: Develop great young talent. Then trade them when they start making more than minimum wage (or turn 25) for prospects. Step 9: Complain to drunk, deaf old people and Cubans that you don’t have any money and you’ll move the team if you don’t get a new stadium and more paintings. Step 10: Steal more money. Step 11: ?????? Step 12: Profit.

*Hank Blalock has been DFA’d by the Rays. If there’s one team that know a thing or two about sunk costs, it’s the Rays. Blalock has been just brutal. Matt Joyce was finally given a bit of playing time, though he’s underperformed. In fairness to him, most of the Rays have underperformed lately. They just lost another one, this game to the Red Sox. Hopefully the two teams split the series so they each stay a few games back of the Yanks.

*Denard Span had three triples tonight! Three! And Gordon Beckham didn’t go 0 for 5 with 5 strikeouts! Wacky day, indeed!

Who is the future closer of the Yankees? While many think it will be Joba, and there will be support for Dave Robertson, I still believe Mark Melancon is the heir to Mo.

Let’s start by getting one thing out of the way. Nobody is, nor is capable, or “replacing” Mariano Rivera. He simply is unmatched in baseball history at his position. When someone asks who the greatest centerfielder in baseball history is, you’ll hear Mays, Mantle, and DiMaggio. When they ask who the greatest catcher in history is, you’ll hear Berra, Bench, maybe a Piazza. When they ask who the greatest left fielder in history is, you’ll hear Ted Williams, Barry Bonds and the feared one, Jim Rice (wait, what’s that, Jim Rice shouldn’t even be in the Hall?). When anyone asks who the greatest closer in history is Mariano Rivera is the only legitimate answer. If you’re expecting the next Yankees closer to be the next Mo, you’re setting yourself up for failure.

Without getting too much into it, I do not want Joba to be the next closer of the Yankees, with my reasoning stated, and echoed, many times. Plus, if Joba’s velocity stays in the 92-95 range, is his stuff much better than Robertson’s or Melancon’s anyway? With regards to Robertson, I love his stuff (13.0 K/9 in 2009), and certainly think he can be a closer at the major league level. He needs to cut back on his walks (4.5 BB/9 career), or else he’ll be a heart attack closer, no doubt. Even in the minors, Robertson walked too many batters, walking 3.6/9 overall, including 4.2/9 in AAA. I’m sure he could get the job done, but unless he cuts the walk rate, he cannot be an elite closer.

Melancon, drafted in the same draft as Robertson, and a few weeks older, fell behind Robertson due to injury. After pitching just 7.2 innings in Staten Island in 2006, Melancon missed all of 2007 after Tommy John surgery. He didn’t get the memo that pitchers usually struggle coming back from TJS, and was absolutely lights out in three levels in 2008. Not only that, but likely due to rounding into form after the TJS, Melancon’s WHIP, H/9, and HR/9 all decreased as he got promoted. His K/9 and K/BB got better at every level. While certainly small sample sizes, Melancon proved he had no problem getting outs at the upper levels. In 2009, Melancon got his first taste of the majors, and while he showed some promise, his pinpoint control deserted him, with 10 walks (and 4 HBP) in just 16.1 innings. He still managed a solid 3.86 ERA, but didn’t pitch well. As much as the results weren’t there, I was impressed by Melancon. He threw harder than I had expected and didn’t give up any HR’s. His fastball velocity averaged 93.0 MPH, and he threw his curveball 17.5% of the time, and his changeup 7.4% of the time. By comparison, AJ Burnett threw his 3rd pitch just 2.7% of the time last year (and was just a tick higher at 94.0 MPH on his fastball). While he may not throw 97 MPH (though he did top out around 95), he’s truly a three pitch closer, and certainly has the stuff to get the job done at the major league level. Unlike Robertson, Melancon does not have a history of walking too many guys at the minor league level, walking just 2.0/9 in his career, and just 1.8/9 at AAA. While he doesn’t strikeout as many guys as Robertson, he does have a solid 8.8 K/9 in the minors, including 9.5/9 in AAA.

I can certainly see Robertson and Melancon being the end of the Yankees bullpen when (if) Mo ever retires. As of now, I think Melancon will be the pick to close, as the Robertson’s walk rate is just too high. Also, in a very small SSS, Robertson has shown a propensity to get out of jams (sometimes self inflicted). For the most part, non-Mo closers come in with the bases empty expected to pitch one inning. If a guy is needed in the 7th or 8th with runners on, Robertson is likely better equipped for that role, and Melancon is better equipped for the 1 clean inning role.

At the end of the day, while the Yankees will never replace Mo, they certainly have guys capable of closing at the major league level. Along with Melancon and Robertson, (and I guess Joba), they have a ton of solid young starters that could be moved to the pen down the road, and potentially close.

For anyone still concerned about the Yankees LF situation, I’m going to put some perspective in it.  Let’s take a look at the AL pennant winners over the last 10 years and review their weakest link in the lineup.  Should we truly be concerned about a platoon of Brett Gardner, Randy Winn, and potentially Jamie Hoffman or Marcus Thames?

The 2009 World Series champions had essentially 1 player with a below 100 OPS+, the CF platoon/combo of Melky Cabrera and Brett Gardner.

The 2008 AL Champion Tampa Bay Rays had 3 regulars OPS+ under 100, 2 of whom were under 90 in Bartlett and Crawford.

2007 World Champion Red Sox had Julio Lugo and his 65 OPS+ and Coco Crisp and his 83 OPS+ get over 500 ab’s each.  That is two huge holes in a lineup.

The 2006 AL Champion Detroit Tigers had 5 regulars under 100 OPS+, including Placido Polanco at a blistering 80.

The 2005 WS Champion White Sox had a whopping 6 regulars OPS+ under 100, including and outfield with Gardner clone Scott Podsednik at 86 and gritty Aaron Rowand at 93.  That team, unlike the 2010 Yankees, did not have one of the greatest infields of all time.

The 2004 World Series Champion, and true juggernaut Boston Red Sox had 1.5 regulars with OPS+’s below 100.

The 2003 AL Champion Yankees had 1 regular below 100 OPS+, with both third basemen, Robin Ventura and Aaron Boone in the 90’s.

The 2002 WS Champion Angels had 2 regulars below 90 OPS+, one of whom was at 58!!  The other was at 86.

The 2001 AL Champion Yankees had 3 regulars below 100 OPS+, including……wait for it…..their left fielder, who provided horrible defense.

The 2000 WS Champion Yankees had several below average hitters in the lineup, Tino, Knoblauch, Brosius, O’Neill. (but damn they’re a gritty bunch).

So there we have it.  The last 10 AL Champions have had at least 1 below average offensive player in their lineup, and have averaged 2.75 below average players in their regular lineups.  If the LF trio puts up an OPS+ of 85, which I would consider below expectations, the Yankees will be just fine.  If they put up a 95, things will be rosy.  Again, this one below average spot in the lineup will provide plus defense and is easily platoonable with a right handed hitter, a left handed hitter, and a switch hitter.  The cries for Johnny Damon are just unbearable and ridiculous.  Simply put, if the Yankees fail this year, it will not be due to their left fielders.

A few organizations have taken fliers on troubled but gifted outfielder Elijah Dukes, betting that his raw power, solid bat and excellent discipline could overcome the myriad of legal issues and off-field and on-field controversies.

Natinals GM Mike Rizzo cut the cord on Wednesday, releasing Dukes, 25. This is a pretty big shocker considering that Dukes hasn’t had any legal trouble since 2007 and was coming into 2010 as the starting right fielder. Even more shocking: he had an option; he could have been sent down to the minors. Instead, Rizzo, having been unable to find a team willing to trade anything for Dukes, straight up released him. Essentially, the GM felt Dukes’ hitting approach wasn’t improving, he wasn’t well-liked in the clubhouse, and there were better in-house options. Basically, it wasn’t one thing that doomed him but a consortium of “minor” troubles. Well at least now he, Shawn Kemp and Antonio Cromartie can arrange play dates for their kids more easily. Silver lining, I suppose.

But seriously, let’s start by taking a look at some of the numbers. After being selected in the 3rd round of the 2002 draft by the Rays, Dukes mostly destroyed the minors in the Tampa Bay system. He then struggled mightily in his 2007 callup, and was shuttled off to Washington, where he rebounded to hit a line of .264/.386/.478/.864, an OPS+ of 127 in 81 games. His power numbers were excellent with .214 ISO and he posted a strong UZR in RF (11.2), albeit in a very small sample. He snagged a few bags, too. All in all, Dukes was one of the few bright spots in Washington that year with his 2.8 WAR.

But then 2009 came. Dukes started well, putting up a .279/.355/.500 in March and April. But it appears pitchers caught wind of his weaknesses shortly thereafter—he struggles mightily against the curveball. Like Pedro-Serrano-struggles out there. All told, in 2009, Dukes was only able to put 12% of curveballs in play and was near a .100 average against the pitch. Just…wow. In contrast, he was able to put around 20% of both fastballs and sliders in play. Problem is, the power dropped considerably (an ISO of .143), to where he was a singles hitter. His walk rate dropped (though still good) and while he connected for contact more, he swung too often and seemed to not hit anything hard. He’d end up with a line of .250/.337/.393.

The defense also abandoned him; he posted a UZR of -5.9 in RF in 65 games and was Damon-ian in CF in his short time there. Though he didn’t hit for more power in September and October of 2009, he was able to hit curveballs at 20% in September/October (SSS) and had an OBP of .398. So he did improve a bit later in the year.

This brings us to the Yankees (of course it does!). Currently, the Yanks have Brett Gardner, Randy Winn, Jamie Hoffmann and Marcus Thames out there. Not exactly Murderers Row. Dukes is easily the most talented of those players, but talent isn’t necessarily what’s at issue here. If we’re considering what situation would fit best for Dukes, it’s hard to think that any organization offers more in terms of stability, playing time potential, a veteran clubhouse, and the soothing music of winning. If Dukes were to sign, there’s a good chance he’d be the starting left fielder in 2010.

At worst, he’d probably create an excellent 5th outfielder as a guy that can play the field, hit for power and take walks. Jamie Hoffmann and Marcus Thames are very expendable. Jettisoning both of them to make room for Dukes makes tons of sense. Best case scenario, he puts up an OPS+ of 130 or higher and removes any need to pursue  a Werth or Crawford (who will be overpaid and both have concerns) in Free Agency. The reward/risk potential is very, very favorable to the team.

Now certainly there are clubhouse concerns and off-the-field considerations to be made. I can’t say that I’ve ever met Dukes and his history as a malcontent with legal troubles is concerning, if any organization can deal with things like this, it’s the Yankees. They’ve done so in the past. I bet a veteran clubhouse with Jeter, CC, Mo, Jorge, Teix, Pettitte, Swisher, Burnett, Granderson would be unable to sit him aside and make sure he’s apart of something. They’d probably be able to keep him in line but then again, considering the range of his temper and his temper, maybe not.

Still, there’s some hope for reform. He’s kept his nose clean for a few years. He can do it. And winning really can be a cure-all for the blues. Dukes must know the next team he signs with very well might be his last chance.  That, combined with a solid cadre of veterans, playing time opportunities, perpetual pursuit of championships and a long-term opportunity for a job should prove extremely tempting.

Of course, he could be absolutely certifiably insane and he and Antonio Cromartie get drunk, fuck shit up and have like 30 kids in a night while hanging out with Ian O’Connor and Joel Sherman before murdering one of them. That possibility exists. And actually, that doesn’t sound too horrible now that I think about it. Anyway… we also don’t know how great the spotlight will be on the troubled 25-year-old and if that pressure proves to be too much and he snaps, choking out Igawa. Maybe, and more importantly,  he really can’t hit a curveball. Who knows? But isn’t his immense potential, him keeping his nose clean and supposedly maturing, the Yankee clubhouse and the obvious positional need worth the chance?

If you have any confidence Dukes can rebound in 2010 (and you should) and isn’t 100% fucking insane, he’s a great fit for the Yankees. For the risk of losing Marcus Thames and Jamie Hoffmann, I think it’s worth signing him.

Photo Credit: David Drebin

This is the second and final part of guest contributor Bexy’s post retorting an asinine article in the cauldron of the interwebs. Check out the first part here.

Unfortunately, Cashman and the Steinbrenner family went for what is hot. The Yankees went through a decade long title drought despite signing young, big-name free agents Jason Giambi, Mike Mussina, Gary Sheffield, Randy Johnson, Alex Rodriguez, Kevin Brown, Jose Contreras, Javier Vazquez, Bobby Abreu, Hideki Matsui, Robin Ventura, Raul Mondesi, Esteban Loaiza, Jeff Weaver, Kei Igawa, Carl Pavano, Jaret Wright, Jon Lieber, Sterling Hitchcock, Tony Womack, Ruben Sierra, John Olerud, Johnny Damon, Pudge Rodriguez, Kyle Farnsworth, Xavier Nady, LaTroy Hawkins, and Kenny Lofton.

I am literally laughing out loud at “Randy Johnson” and “young” being in the same sentence.

And “young, big-name free agents”? There’s so much wrong with that. Let’s see how these guys were acquired, and how old they were in their first year with the Yankees.
Jason Giambi: free agency, 31
Mike Mussina: free agency, 32
Gary Sheffield: free agency, 35
Randy Johnson: trade, 41
Alex Rodriguez: trade, 29
Kevin Brown: trade, 39
Jose Contreras: free agency, 31
Javier Vazquez: trade, 28
Bobby Abreu: trade, 32
Hideki Matsui: free agency, 29
Robin Ventura: trade, 34
Raul Mondesi: trade, 31
Esteban Loaiza: trade, 32
Jeff Weaver: trade, 25
Kei Igawa: free agency, 27
Carl Pavano: free agency, 29
Jaret Wright: free agency, 29
Jon Lieber: free agency, 34
Sterling Hitchcock: free agency, 31 (I’m assuming he’s talking about after 2001, because Hitchcock is actually from the Yankees’ farm system)
Tony Womack: free agency, 35
Ruben Sierra: free agency, 37
John Olerud: free agency, 35
Johnny Damon: free agency, 32
Pudge Rodriguez: trade, 36
Kyle Farnsworth: free agency, 30
Xavier Nady: trade, 29
LaTroy Hawkins: free agency, 35
Kenny Lofton: free agency, 37

Some of these moves were great. Some of these moves were terrible. However, they were not all “young, big-name free agents.” Not many of them were signed when they were under 30, and the Yankees got a bunch of them through trades.

Unfortunately, almost all of these moves did not work out. No offense to these players, but they lack the winning mentality of the old guards.
Of those guys that Tyson listed, Sheffield, Johnson, A-Rod, Kevin Brown, Contreras, Matsui, Weaver, Pavano, Womack, Olerud, Damon, and Pudge have all won a World Series.

It was no surprise that Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Andy Petitte, Roger Clemens, and Jorge Posada are usually the most reliable performers in the playoff.
Oh my gosh, what an original thought. No one ever said this before. Though, to give Tyson some credit, people usually don’t put Clemens in that group. They put Scotty Bro instead.

The classless behaviors did not end here. Petitte was lowballed by the Yankees and angrily left to play for his hometown team, the Houston Astros, with his buddy Clemens.
If you’re gonna be so incredibly insulted on the guy’s behalf, you should, like, get his name right. And I know that I am still upset that Andy hated us so much after he left for Houston that he never had anything to do with the Yankees ever again. Wait, what?

Joe Torre was publicly insulted by both statements made by George Steinbrenner as well as an “incentive-based” contract that he rejected as a “slap in the face”. It was no surprise that the Yankees did not win a championship until 2009.
We treated Joe Torre so badly that it cursed us so that we had to wait A WHOLE YEAR to win the World Series after he left. Truly, we are the most unfortunate fan base in the world.

Now in 2009, we seemed to be reliving the nightmares of 2000-2001 all over again.
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDDDD WE ONLY MADE IT TO THE WORLD SERIES TWICE IN TWO YEARS AND WON ONE (AFTER WINNING THE PREVIOUS TWO, AND THREE IN FOUR YEARS) AND WERE TWO OUTS AND A STUPID MISPLAYED THROW TO SECOND AWAY FROM WINNING ANOTHER WHY AM I A FAN OF SUCH A CURSED FRANCHISE WITH NO SUCCESS????

Longtime contributors Johnny Damon, Hideki Matsui, and Chien-Ming Wang are ushered out despite reasonable contract demand.
Wait, I thought Damon and Matsui were young, big-name free agents who are “hot” and lack the winning mentality of the old guard?! Stop confusing me, Tyson! And the Yankees gave Damon a plenty reasonable contract, which he turned down. That’s why he’s not with the team any more.

(Yes, I don’t care that Damon and Matsui played in hitter-friendly Yankees stadium. Numbers are numbers. Damon is an annual 20-20 threat. His bat is more than good enough for corner outfielders. Wang will take an incentive-laden one year contract anyway.)
Johnny Damon’s hit 20 HRs and stolen 20 bases in the same season once in his fifteen-year career, in 2006. And, actually, at least based on a one-year sample size, the new Yankee Stadium is not hitter friendly. Note that it’s #20, sandwiched between Oakland and friggin’ Safeco. YSIII is extremely home-run friendly, but it suppresses all other kinds of hits. We need more years of data to make a definitive conclusion, but for now, let’s not act like it’s Coors East. Anyway, Matsui actually did much better away from Yankee Stadium in 2009 (.816 OPS at home, .949 OPS away). Damon did much better at Yankee Stadium in 2009 (.915 OPS at home, .795 OPS away). Matsui, if he stays healthy, will probably be fine, but Damon might really miss Yankee Stadium.

Once again, the Yankees are infatuated by mediocre free agents and trade for unproven, flawed players who happened to be young.
They overpaid for disable list mainstay Nick Johnson (5 million)
So you slam the Nick Johnson signing because NJ’s hurt a lot, but you wanted to resign Wang? That doesn’t make any sense. And if Nick Johnson is healthy, $5M isn’t overpaying for him by a long shot.

when they could have kept Matsui for around the same price. Johnson is not your average DH/1B. He lacks power and constantly gets injured.
No, Nick Johnson’s strength isn’t hitting for power. His strength is getting on base and therefore not making outs. That’s a very good skill to have in the game of baseball, and he does that at an elite level. He’s #9 on the active list of highest career OBP. Above him are guys with names like Albert Pujols and Manny Ramirez. Dude’s got a better career OBP than Rickey Henderson, Joe DiMaggio, and Joe Morgan. Nick’s ridiculously good at getting on base.

With Texeira on board, Johnson, who can only play 1B, will have no choice but to play full-time DH.
Because limiting an injury-prone guy’s time in the field is such a bad thing to do amirite?

Better DH options such as Jim Thome, Jermaine Dye, Carlos Delgado, Russell Branyan, and Gary Sheffield could all be had for considerable less money and Johnson is as big an injury risk as all of the aforementioned, yet they let Matsui go and replace him with Johnson out of all people.
You can’t go BOOOO NICK JOHNSON SUCKS BECAUSE HE CAN ONLY PLAY 1B AND HE GETS HURT ALL THE TIME then whine about not getting Jim Thome, Carlos Delgado, Jermaine Dye, Russell Branyan, Gary Sheffield, and Hideki Matsui. That makes no sense. All those guys are awful fielders with a lot of injury issues.

Hell, if you want to save money, why not just let Juan Miranda take over at DH?
I dunno, maybe they don’t think he’s ready or able to provide the type of production the position would dictate? He has a whopping 23 major league PA and until very recently, had a terrifying platoon split.

Javier Vazquez is great in the NL, but already prove to be mediocre in the AL, especially against the star studded lineup of AL East foes.
I think the “Javy is great in the NL only” argument is based a little too much on his 2009 with Atlanta, where he was insanely good. He had one great year with the White Sox, too. Maybe he just learned how to pitch really, really well last year and will now keep that up for the rest of his major league career? (Please, Javy?)

Also, nobody is asking him to be what he was with Atlanta. They’re just asking him to be better than what he was in 2004. I think he can do that, especially considering that he was injured in the second half of that year. Look at his first-half numbers of 2004 and his second half numbers. But maybe I’m just a CRAZY OPTIMIST OMG. If I only had the sage wisdom of Mr. Tyson C. Oh, what a world.

No one knows if Joba Chamberlain and Phil Hughes can cut it as a starter for a full season either. Both could very well flame out as starters and become career-long relievers.
Well let’s just give up on them RIGHT NOW because Tyson says so. Sure, maybe they won’t be starters, but let’s give them a chance. Worst case scenario, they turn into awesome relievers. Best case scenario, they’re aces or above-league-average starters. Whatever the case, there’s pretty much no way either of those guys can be worse as the fifth starter in 2010 than what the Yankees’ fifth starter was in 2009.

To add insult to injury, they added another weak bat in Randy Winn to their mediocre, power-starved outfield. Both newly-acquired Curtis Granderson and Nick Swisher cannot hit for average.
You can’t call the outfield “power-starved” then dump on Curtis Granderson and Nick Swisher. Granderson hit 30 home runs last year. Swisher hit 29. Of course, home runs aren’t the only factor in measuring the power of a hitter. Granderson has a career ISO of .211 and Swisher, .216. For context, those numbers are comparable to guys like Carlos Beltran, Johnny Bench, Hanley Ramirez, Jeff Kent, and David Wright. And please remember that by the time we clinched the World Series, our outfield was Jerry Hairston Jr., Brett Gardner, and Nick Swisher.

Granderson probably is best suited to be a platoon player given that he clearly cannot hit lefties.
I guess at least this guy isn’t insisting he’s a switch-hitter? (RAB joke, holla!) And you’re right, he’s not very good at hitting lefties. Most players have some kind of weakness. He’s pretty damn good at doing everything else, though. There’s a fair chance Granderson improves in 2010; he’d never done worse in his professional career than he did last year. Moving toward his statistical mean is likely.

Winn has never been great and at this point of his career, hit for neither power or average.
He hit .300 in 2007 and .306 in 2008. I’d call that “hitting for average.” He had an awful 2009, probably because he had a sweet .585 OPS at huge-ass AT&T Park. Could have also been his lower-than-usual BABip or his outlier line against lefties in 2009 (.158-.184-.200). Even being terrible offensively in 2009, he put up a 1.7 WAR last year by being a pretty darn good defensive player in a relatively small sample size. If he can just do that again, he’ll actually be more valuable than the peanuts the Yankees paid him.

And though coaches can only do so much, something tells me the Yankees’ hitting coaches are a little better than the Giants’. Call it a hunch.

Both Brett Gardner and Winn (and maybe Swisher as well) probably should not be starting for a major league team.
I can’t make definitive statements about Brett Gardner because his major league career so far is more or less a small sample size. I think we’d be plenty happy if he repeated or slightly improved on what he did last year, especially because his production might have been cut down a bit by the hand injury. Randy Winn is a very good defender who’s been league average throughout his career. Those guys aren’t superstars, but they’re valuable, especially because the Yankees aren’t paying them a whole lot of money. The Swisher thing is just stupid.

To make matters worse, the Yankees are classless and cheap enough to not resign AJ Burnett’s personal catcher, Jose Molina, a savvy veteran who calls a great game.
Who the hell gets this upset about Jose Molina? His career OPS+ is 60. His OPS+ with the Yankees is 58, including 51 OPS+ in both 2008 and 2009. He is below replacement value offensively. And sure, he calls a great game. If Posada had caught Burnett in Game 5 of the World Series, AJ clearly would have given up 345 runs.

Molina probably cost more money than he was really worth and the Yankees have a surplus of cheap catchers in their system. From what we’ve seen so far, which is admittedly a small sample size, Cervelli’s a really good defensive catcher like Molina was. He’s not brilliant with the bat, but he actually does better than Molina there (SSS warning).

Their bullpen, except for Mariano Rivera, are full of minor league free agents, failed starters, and retreads.
Mariano Rivera’s a failed starter. Also, the best bullpens are full of minor league free agents, failed starters, and retreads. That’s why they’re bullpen guys, because they’re not good enough to start. For what it’s worth, the approach of a cheap patchwork bullpen filled with internal options does just as well (and recent history suggests better) than high-priced Free Agent acquisitions.

Why sign Winn and Johnson when Jermaine Dye, Gary Sheffield, Felipe Lopez (dude can play pretty much everywhere.), Garrett Anderson, Brian Giles, and Russell Branyan can all be had for cheap?
Dye: would not be had for cheap, that’s why he didn’t sign anywhere
Sheffield: not a bad idea in principle, but I just can’t see him coming back to the Yankees. Also, you just called him one of the young hot free agents that didn’t know how to win or whatever.
Felipe Lopez: dude does not play the outfield so he wouldn’t help us there
Garrett Anderson: injury issues have made him decidedly meh since 2004 or so
Brian Giles: retired, therefore not available
Russell Branyan: coming off back surgery, woefully inconsistent. Also, you can’t whine about Swisher and Granderson not hitting for average when this guy’s nickname is Three True Outcomes.

Why not bring back Damon or Matsui?
Because Damon didn’t want to take a big pay cut from the Yankees, who offered him the best deal he got anyway, and Matsui wants to play the outfield which the Yankees know is an awful idea? Oh, and Matsui’s knees acted up the first day of Spring Training.

Why leave your bullpen in tatters when proven reliever such as Chan Ho Park, Kiko Calero, David Weathers, Jeff Weaver, Kevin Gregg, Russ Springer, Chad Bradford, Guillermo Mota, Ron Mahay, and Joe Beimel can’t even find a major league contract?
Well, since he wrote this, we signed Chan Ho Park so THANK GOD OUR BULLPEN IS OKAY NOW or something. Anyway, sure, the Yankee bullpen is in tatters. It just led us to a 100+ win season and a World Series championship when our fifth starter was a rotating door of shit and the fourth starter hadn’t gone more than like five innings since August; it clearly sucks.

Also, why are you condemning our bullpen for being full of failed starters and retreads when that’s what a bunch of these guys that you’re dying to sign are? Yeah, sorry, I’m not gonna write the front office in protest if they don’t sign Russ Springer. I know you can’t ever have enough pitching and it’s true, but wasting money on guys that are downright bad now and were never really good to begin with has no point (CHP isn’t one of these guys, him and Calero are way better than the rest of the people he listed, though Calero’s injury history is checkered).

Why have question marks in your rotation when you can either bring back Wang or sign Pedro Martinez to a very reasonable contract?
Chien-Ming Wang, who’s coming off shoulder surgery, will be a question mark in a rotation, especially considering that he’s not ready to start the season. The current version of Pedro Martinez, who hasn’t pitched a full season since 2005 due to tons of injuries, will be a question mark in a rotation. Signing Pedro at this point would be good for only one thing: the endless humor a Pedro/Posada battery would provide.

As a lifelong Yankees fan, this offseason is a nightmare just like back in 2001. It will be a longtime before Yankees faithful holds another parade.
Ugh. This article made me [sic].

You all will have to forgive me for being so snarky. I’m just really angry that the Yankees actually won the World Series so I can’t publish my masterwork The Curse of Glenallen Hill. I mean, the Yankees totally fell apart when they heartlessly got rid of him, his veteran savvy, and his invaluable contributions to the team that had been going on for years. Think about it!!!!

Well this concludes our special on shaming short-sighted, irrational, hyperbolic bloggers. Thanks for reading!

Friend and First Lady of M&A, Bexy, or “Bexarama” to some, recently came across a Bleacher Report article so saturated in doltishness, she felt compelled to respond.

After hours of having been shelled with spats of narrow-minded nonsense from the flat-earthed sportscaster Joe Morgan on a televised ESPN game, I sought refuge on the internet. With it, I must admit that for better or worse, my outlook on baseball changed drastically. I was not alone. In fact, there was a whole community of people rallying against the many sportscasters who propagate false narrative and laugh in the face of irrefutable evidence. My inspiration for change? The first result on my search: FireJoeMorgan, by the comedy master Michael Schur operating under the pseudonym “Ken Tremendous.”

Fire Joe Morgan mostly mocked stupidity in the national sports media, but it’s made me rather hyper-sensitive to stupidity amongst those who write and talk about sports in general. So when I found this article by Tyson C. on the tumor-stimulating Bleacher Report, I was very, very, very excited indeed. Keep in mind, it’s from about a month ago, so some things are outdated.

Preface: I know, I know, it’s unfair for me to attack some random person on Bleacher Report when Jon Heyman is getting paid like a mrazillion dollars to vote for K-Rod in the top spot in AL MVP voting in 2008 and condemn Andrew Bailey for being “a closer on a loser,” but what can I say, the muse moves us all in mysterious ways.

In 2000, the Yankees won their third titles in four years. After barely missing out on another title the following year, it was no doubt that George Steinbrenner ran the most successful franchise in professional sports.

Super writing fail: tasty.

Instead of rewarding who played their asses off for the organization, they got rid of long-time contributors Tino Martinez, Paul O’Neill (retirement). Chuck Knoblauch, David Cone, Scott Brosius, Luis Sojo, Orlando Hernandez, David Justice, Glenallen Hill, Alfonso Soriano, Shane Spencer, Enrique Wilson, Denny Neagle, Jeff Nelson, Jose Canseco, Mike Stanton, and Dwight Gooden all in a span of two years. The classless way they ran the team soon came back to haunt them.
Hmmm. Let’s take this assertion on a case-by-case basis.

Tino Martinez: It was probably not a particularly smart move to get rid of him when we did, though it’s understandable why; Tino was a good player, but he wasn’t the elite hitter you want out of a first baseman, whereas Giambi was. You win, Tyson!

Paul O’Neill: He retired, sending white people everywhere into an irrational rage.

Chuck Knoblauch: Chucky had a 100 OPS+ in four years with the Yankees. He topped out with a 112 OPS+ in 1999. That’s decent production if Knoblauch had been an elite defensive 2B, but he wasn’t, especially because he fell off a cliff after 1999. By the 2000 playoffs, he couldn’t play second base at all; he was the DH or he pinch-ran. He was the main left fielder on the 2001 Yankees, but he played that position terribly and had an 82 OPS+ to boot. He moved on to the Kansas City Royals in 2002 after the Yankees let him go, where he posted a 50 OPS+ in 336 PA, then retired. His value was a negative at that point. Keeping him wouldn’t have accomplished anything other than making the Yankees a worse team. This might make sense for the Mets, but not for the Yankees.

David Cone: I love Coney, but his wheels fell off in 2000. He had a 6.91 ERA (!!!) with an ugly WHIP of 1.768 and OPSA of .891. He was getting at least somewhat unlucky, with a crazy .345 BABIP and a FIP lower than his ERA by about a run and a half, but keep in mind, he was getting paid $12M in 2000, which probably explains why he wasn’t taken out of the rotation altogether. That $12M was the third-highest salary in the AL, the sixth-highest in all of baseball, and more than anyone else on the team save Bernie. Cone was okay with the Red Sox in 2001, with a 4.31 ERA in 135.2 innings, but it’s understandable why the team let him walk, especially when they signed Moose.

Scott Brosius: He retired; he also kind of sucked. A bizarrely high number of people, however, love reminiscing over his good games. Like, all four of them.

Luis Sojo: Sojo was mostly a utility guy. He had a career OPS+ of 71 and never once had an OPS+ of 100 or better. Heck, in a 13-year career, he only OPS+ed over 90 twice. In seven years with the Yankees, he had an OPS+ of 62. In 2001 he only had 84 PA so it’s a very small sample size, but he posted an OPS of seven. Yes, that’s the number seven. Not seventy. Seven. Again, keeping him wouldn’t have accomplished anything other than making the Yankees a worse team.

Orlando Hernandez: Like with Cone, I am a huge fan of El Duque, but the guy is like 89 years old. The Old Man and the Sea is actually about him, believe it or not. He was also frequently injured. We traded him to the White Sox, who traded him to the Expos, after 2002 (not after 2001), where he spent the entire 2003 season sidelined with rotator cuff surgery.

David Justice: Justice was awesome in 2000. We might not have won without him. However, groin injury (if you were a dude married to Halle Berry, I think you’d have a groin injury too. From, you know, overuse. THANK YOU I WILL BE HERE ALL NIGHT!) sapped a lot of his usefulness in 2001. At the age of 35, he posted a 98 OPS+ and mostly DHed. He had a decent year in Oakland when the Yankees let him go after 2001, but Oakland had signed him as basically just an “experiment” to see if older players lost their batting eye or not. Not the greatest vote of confidence.

Glenallen Hill: He was very good with the Yankees in 2000, he was 35 and strictly a DH. Oh, and more importantly, he had a grand total of 143 PA with the Yankees. How can you say he was a “long-time contributor” when he had 143 PA with the organization?! He went to the California/Anaheim/Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of the United States of America of the Universe after 2000, where he got 66 PA and posted a sweet .318 OPS. He retired before June 2001. Again, keeping him would have done nothing but make the Yankees a worse team. You might be sensing a pattern here.

Alfonso Soriano: Well, we didn’t get rid of him until after 2003, so really you shouldn’t include him in this massive group, but anyway, we traded him for Alex Rodriguez. I’d say that trade worked out pretty damn well. And, for what it’s worth, Soriano, who was once a great offensive player at a premium position, recently posted a negative WAR for the Cubs. The Friendly Confines ain’t so friendly when he’s up to bat.

Shane Spencer: Shane Spencer’s story is fun. He was one of the only “scab” replacement players of the strike-shortened 1994 season to have actually made some impact in The Show. He came up from the minors in 1998, and in 73 PA, hit 10 home runs including three grand slams, slugged .910, and had a totally ridiculous 1.321 OPS. Shane’s career after that wasn’t quite so awesome, though. After 1998, with the Yankees, he posted an 89 OPS+. His non-Yankee career consists of, again, an 89 OPS+, and getting hurt a whole bunch. Hmmm, it’s almost like you can’t use small sample sizes to determine a player’s true ability! I’ve never heard something so crazy in my life!
Enrique Wilson: Again, he left the Yankees after 2004, so he’s not in the post-2000 and/or 2001 sobfest group (OH MY GOD WE WERE CURSED BY GLENALLEN HILL, WEREN’T WE?). Anyway, we all know Enrique Wilson was on the team primarily because for whatever reason, he hit Pedro really well, albeit in like 25 at-bats. In his four years with New York, he had a 56 OPS+. At anything other than batting against Pedro, he was more or less downright awful. Repeat after me, kiddies: again, keeping him would have done nothing other than make the team worse.

Denny Neagle: He pitched in 16 total games for the Yankees with a 5.81 ERA. He then pitched for Colorado in 2001, 2002, and 2003, posting ERAs of 5.38, 5.26, and 7.90 (with FIPs of 4.81, 5.00, and 7.36). Not a “long-time contributor,” and again, keeping him would have simply made the team worse.

Jeff Nelson: It was not the greatest move to get rid of him, but he was just a bullpen guy. Due to the volatility of relievers, most are expendable.

Jose Canseco: Um, HAHAHAHA at the idea of getting rid of Jose Canseco being a move that was ~not classy~ that cursed the Yankees. But anyway, he had 137 PA with the Yankees, where he OPS+ed 103. That’s not a “long-time contributor.”

Mike Stanton: He left after 2002, not 2001. Like Nelson, maybe not the greatest move to get rid of him, but he was just a bullpen guy.

Dwight Gooden: He’d left the team after 1997. We only got him back in 2000, where he appeared in only 18 games, after the then-Devil Rays – admit it, you miss the tacky green uniforms and the ugly-ass font – cut him, and we signed him on a minor league deal. Then, we actually re-signed him after 2000. We cut him in Spring Training the next year.

But overall, this section can be summed up thusly: JOSE FRIGGING CANSECO!!!!!

If you’re still reading after all that, I salute you, dear reader. Check back tonight for the conclusion of the article.