As-of-now Free Agent pitcher Jarrod Washburn.

In following last year’s deadline strategy of dealing away veterans for young prospects, Seattle Mariners GM Jack Zduriencik plans to add a new wrinkle this trade deadline — he’s re-signing last year’s bait, starting pitcher Jarrod Washburn, to a FA contract. Zduriencik has told other league Executives that Washburn will start one game in Saefco Field as an audition and then plans to ship him off for an modest (read: immense) return.

If all goes well, the flyball pitcher playing with one of the best defenses in a pitcher’s park, may yield a return of a top prospect like Domonic Brown of the Phillies or Jesus Montero of the Yankees, Zdiroencik said.

The GM, who took over for perennial laughingstock nitwit Bill Bavasi in 2009, has yet to sign Washburn, who ended up being traded from the Mariners to the Detroit Tigers last year, where he went on to post a record of 1-3 with an ERA of 7.33 in 8 starts for Baghdad Midwest. Washburn also spurned an offer from the Minnesota Twins this past winter, reportedly for $5 million, leading many to believe there was absolutely no market for the veteran right-hander.

Zduriencik, however, said he’s confident he can re-sign the veteran for under $4 million and find a suitor, though as a Free Agent all teams are able to negotiate with Washburn. It’s been reported that Washburn believes his value is highest in larger parks where the ball doesn’t carry well, and he may be open to signing a lower deal to find that situation. He indicated through his agent Scott Boras that he’d also be open to a trade after his value jumped.

Said Zduriencik, “We’re going to take the rest of what we owe Ken Griffey Jr. and give it to Wash. We actually forgot to pay Jr. for the last two months or so, but he never said anything and we kinda just assumed he was asleep. So we pocketed it. We’ve got like $2 million from that, plus what we planned to pay him before he ‘retired’. So we’re good,” he told the Seattle Times on Thursday morning.

Jack Zduriencik, Mariners GM, before a sailing trip with Gordon and his fishermen.

According to SI’s Jon Heyman, who first broke the report, it may not actually be such an outlandish idea. “Someone will give something up for him,” the longtime reporter said. “People always forget that Washburn sucks and always overpay. The Mariners know that better than anyone. It’s like teams don’t even watch him; they just see his final line and think, ‘Hey, he’s pretty good.’ They never remember that he’s pretty much awful anywhere outside of here and maybe Petco. Totally worth the few million dollars for some top prospects,” he said, adding that “Scott Boras is the man.”

For what it’s worth, Washburn still thinks he’s got a lot left in the tank. Despite his questionable peripherals from last year, he feels better and stronger than ever, attributing it to not drinking caffinated beverages, a new workout routine, Lasik eye surgery, a marsupial pouch sewn onto his stomach so he can carry his young son with him while ‘at work,’ and an all-starch diet.

“People forget that I came in 4th in the Cy Young voting in 2002 and I had an ERA of 3.20 in 2005. For fuck’s sake, I had an ERA under 2.65 for half of last year! I know what I’m doing out there and I can help a team, especially with all the work I put in over the winter and throughout the season. I’m excited for a new challenge,” he said from his home in Wisconsin.

Although in exchange for Washburn in 2009,the Tigers shipped off Luke French, thought by most in baseball to be a 5th starter/longman in the big leagues, and Mauricio Robles, a hard-throwing Venezuelan with great stuff and good upside, industry insiders are saying even that type of return for an aging, below-average pitcher is unlikely, although most baseball executives seem to have forgotten who Washburn is in the first place.

To his credit, Zduriencik remains hopeful it will all work out. “I was asking for Austin Jackson for Washburn last year. Fuck no did they do that. I mean, they’re not crazy or anything. But you don’t get what you don’t ask for. We also asked for Robinson Cano for Ryan Langerhaus. The look on their faces. Hah, that was great! It makes asking for Jesus Montero plus 2 top prospects seem reasonable in comparison.”

Zdurienick is counting on the Mariners receiving some good luck, noting that they’re hopeful “some complete moron like Jim Hendry will give us Starlin Castro and Tyler Colvin if we agree to eat Wash’s salary.

Removing his beret, Zdurienick’s face then lit up. With his pointer finger extended toward the ceiling of his office in Saefco, he shouted: “Ohh, wait a second! The Dodgers! They desperately need starting pitching, right? How much says they’ll give up (SS prospect) Dee Gordon along with an arm or two? $20 bucks says Frank McCourt sees that deal and thinks he just saved a few hundred thousand dollars.”

“Is Dave Littlefield still running the Pirates?” he asked. “He might give up McCutchen or Alvarez, though he’d probably forget all about them anyway and they’d be eligible for the Rule V draft,” Zduriencik uttered, laughing hysterically, high-fiving staff members between breaks to play the Nintendo Wii.

The GM also plans to trade starting pitcher Cliff Lee within a few weeks and he’s privately been telling GM’s he’d consider a Twins offer of Morneau, Mauer, Ramos and Hicks; or a Texas offer of Neftali Feliz, Justin Smoak, Josh Hamilton and Ron Washington’s cocaine stash; or possibly BJ Upton, David Price and Desmond Jennings of the Rays but thinks he can do better. They’re also asking the Nationals for Stephen Strasburg, Ian Desmond, Josh Willingham and Bryce Harper as a player-to-be-named-later, though the Natinals appear uninterested.

Privately, other GM’s have said they’re not sure if Zduriencik is crazy or another GM really is that stupid. “I mean, shit, it’s two months of Cliff Lee. To empty the farm for two months for a guy who is almost guaranteed to test free agency? If they can do it good for them, but they’ve already turned down an offer of Ramos and Hicks from the Twins. I doubt they’ll do any better.”

He did add, however, that he saw a guy just called up named “Jared Washenbern,” a pitching prospect the M’s brought over from Germany. “He just threw his first game last night. He might be able to fetch a few good prospects,” he said. “Excellent mechanics.”